I pretty much knew from the moment we found out I was pregnant that we were going to co-sleep. It just made sense to me. What I did NOT know was how co-sleeping would be such a game-changer. Did it change things for the good? For the worse? Depends on the day. Anyone who co-sleeps can tell you that – along with these truths:
1. People care waaaaaay too much that you co-sleep.
My kids sleep in bed with me. Get over it. I know how to co-sleep safely, so you don’t need to tell me that I’m risking my child’s life and acting selfishly. You do you, I’ll do me, and I’ll get less sleep than you because co-sleeping is wonderful but exhausting.
2. When you say you feel like you’ve been hit by a truck, you aren’t lying.
It isn’t just the kids in bed with us; it’s also the toys, which any night could mean a Batman figure, a dump truck, a stuffed animal, a current favorite book or the plastic eggs that came with the toy kitchen set. No matter what it is, I will roll over on it or have it smashed into my face at some point during the night.
3. Nothing spices up your sex life like having to do it someplace other than your bed.
It’s a good thing we got the house with the walk-in closet, wink wink.
4. Alarms are totally unnecessary.
You can’t hit snooze on a toddler. You can, however, squeeze in some extra time in bed time by offering the kid your cellphone, as long as you don’t mind listening to Curious George squeak in your ear for a while. Sleeping with kids in your bed means that you are more or less victim to their schedule. If they are up at 5, so are you. That’s why we are in bed by 9 p.m. every night.
5. The noises get … weird
After so many years of marriage, you pretty much have each other figured out. I know that he’ll snore when he has a cold, and he knows that I’ll wake up screaming once a week due to a nightmare in which all my teeth fall out. The kids, however, add a whole new element of noise. Weird noises. Scary noises. Smelly noises.
6. Pillow talk involves more pillows and less talking.
How many Thomas the Train or dinosaur-themed pillows can we fit in our bed? Don’t forget the three stuffed animals that the kid CAN’T SLEEP WITHOUT, especially because despite the fact that there are 50 pillows in the bed, you’ll end up with your head on Crocky the Alligator all night.
Oh, and there is no chit-chatting in bed anymore, because it’s going to wake up the kid and God knows how absolutely terrible it is to wake an exhausted child.
7. It’s a love/hate thing.
I hate how little sleep I get, but I love cuddling with my kids because soon enough, they won’t want to. It’s worth getting kicked in the face all night long for those few moments of sweet snuggling I get. I guess.