That little guy? Don’t worry about that little guy.

People worry because I let my children in bed with me.

Let’s get this out of the way: Globally, co-sleeping is the norm. And, no – co-sleeping does not increase the risk of SIDS or infant mortality unless the parent has been heavily drinking or there is another risk factor. In fact, countries with the lowest infant mortality/SIDS rates – like Japan – are countries where the majority of parents practice co-sleeping.

I do not let my children in bed with me because I worry about SIDS. I do not let my children in bed with me because the Japanese do.

I let my children in bed with me because they cry. When the baby is fighting sleep, I know I need only to snuggle with her in our big, comfy bed, and she’ll nuzzle her face into my chest and snooze peacefully.

When my sweet toddler begs, “Please, Mommy, please lay with me,” I have no choice. Those big, wet eyes win me over every time, and we cuddle and whisper and giggle and fall asleep holding hands.

I let my children in bed with me because I want to piss off people who think I’m a hippie who has no regard for my children’s safety because I’m a home birther/co-sleeper/baby-wearer. No, I don’t really want to make those people mad. But they get mad anyway, and I don’t understand it.

I let my children in bed with me because who cares? Who cares if they are in bed with me? It doesn’t affect my neighbor or my friend or the stranger I just met who is looking at me cross-eyed, thoroughly confused as to why I “allow” my kids into our bed.

I let my children in bed with me because they have nightmares. We should never have let him watch “Jurassic Park,” even though we covered his eyes during the scary parts. He knew something was going down. We thought it would be cool for him to see “real” dinosaurs. Sigh.

Sometimes all I hear is his door open and close, and then I feel him crawl across the bed up to where I am. Other nights, he cries, mumbling something about dinosaurs or monsters. “I ‘cared, Momma, gimme your arm,” as he pulls my arm around his tiny, sweaty body.

I let my children in bed with me because I have nightmares. Have you ever lie awake in your bed, totally unable to fall asleep because for some reason you thought watching the news/reading the paper was a good idea? It never fails that there is a heartbreaking story about a child who has died, or was abused, or is very sick.

If I am in bed by myself when these thoughts start, all I want in the world is to bring my children into bed with me and hold them. If they are right there with me, I know they are safe.

I let my children in bed with me because we all sleep better. Yes, even if I have Eliza’s tiny fingers pinching my skin and a Monster foot in my face, I sleep better. The alternative is a little boy crying for his mommy in his room by himself, or a little girl who wants to nurse, and nurse, and nurse because she likes being close to me.

I let my children in bed with me because I am too tired to try otherwise. Some nights, it’s just like, whatever. This may as well happen.

I let my children in bed with me because one day, they will want their own beds, their own rooms, their own houses, their own lives.

I let my children in bed with me because there will be many things I regret while raising them, but getting in every snuggle I can will never give me pause.

I let my children in bed with me because it just feels right.

I let my children in bed with me because it makes me happy.

So don’t worry about why I let my children in bed with me. We are doing just fine.

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3 Comments on That little guy? Don’t worry about that little guy.

  1. Amber Trotter
    September 24, 2013 at 3:11 pm (4 years ago)

    I seriously LOVE you! You are going to think I am a stalker but I have been reading your posts about children, breastfeeding, and co-sleeping and you are what made me start researching things and reading and reading and reading! I cannot tell you how much reading has changed everything I ever thought parenting would be and I LOVE it! Co-sleeping has to be the most amazing, rewarding, comforting thing I have ever done and I would NOT have it any other way! Thank you! :-)

    Reply
  2. Mel
    September 24, 2013 at 5:32 pm (4 years ago)

    Amen.

    Reply
  3. Tina
    September 26, 2013 at 1:14 pm (4 years ago)

    AWESOME!!!!! I used to have to argue over this subject since having my babies….I allowed and still allow them in my bed. We are supposed to be the comforter in their lives to allow them to express their love, compassion, closeness and be comforted with the ones they love the most, their parents. My children are very close to me and still at age 19 and 16 they will climb in my lap, come and lay in my bed and we talk, laugh, cry and snuggle and sometimes just fall asleep holding hands with out saying a word. One day I wont get to do that anymore they will have their own spouses and children.

    Reply

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