Momma needs a playroom

Momma needs a playroom.

My kids have a playroom. Technically, they have about six playrooms, as their toys simply invade half the spaces we have in our house.

There is one room, however, dedicated solely to their Legos, dollhouse, kitchen set, blocks, dinosaurs, superheroes, cars, teddy bears, princesses and costumes. The room is in a constant state of disaster. If I walk by it quickly enough, I don’t have to see or worry about the mess.

As I shut the kids in there the other day so I could have some alone time, I realized that I don’t have a playroom of my own.

I don’t have a place I can go to with all the wonderful things I love (aside from Target, that is).

I don’t have a room filled with my favorite distractions to take me a way from the real world.

I don’t have a playroom.

So, I’m going to make one.

Who needs a guest room, anyway? I’m going to empty that room of the bed no one ever sleeps in and the pictures no one ever looks at. I’m going to paint it purple like Monica’s apartment in “Friends,” and I’m even going to install a peephole with that yellow frame around it like she had.

In one corner of my playroom will be a big, cushioned chaise with one of those super-soft blankets carelessly but still artistically draped over the back. Right next to it, a bookshelf with all of my favorites – not an e-reader, because those devices just aren’t as refreshing as holding a real book in my hands. Of course, I’ll need a small table next to my chaise to hold my glass of wine and plate of cheese, which will come from my playroom’s kitchenette, which is really just a fancy name for some sort of structure that will hold my wine and safely store my cheese.

On one wall will be a beautiful painting of the ocean, which can lift up to reveal a television that will stream any show I want at any time of day. It can also play music, simulate a fire in a fireplace and teach me to speak another language.

There will be a mini gym in my playroom, because momma needs to get her sweat on. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy; maybe just a piece of equipment that, with a touch of a button, can transform from a treadmill to weights to a smoothie maker.

I will also need a desk, a beautiful, mahogany desk with a few simple drawers and a chair that is ergonomically sound. From my desk, I can see out the window to a mountain that overlooks a mirror lake. Oh, that mountain will solve any writer’s block woes I may have, that is certain.

My playroom must be have crossword puzzles, dark chocolate, ice water in my favorite cup, a foot massager, past and current pictures of my family, a comfortable robe, warm slippers and that adult coloring book that I bought a year ago and have yet to crack open.

Oh, and the playroom must have a force field around it that protects it from anyone but me from entering it. It also must be soundproof so I can’t hear, “Mommy!” through the walls.

To recap: I need furniture, food, alcohol, books, puzzles and a TV.

All of which I can get at Target, proving once again that the bulls-eye behemoth is my happy place (until I build my dream playroom).

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