18 reasons your opinion of my parenting doesn’t matter

It’s very easy as a parent to get caught up in what other people think about the way you are doing your job. The smallest comment from strangers can reduce us to a crumpled mess of self-doubt.

“Maybe I SHOULD wean him off the pacifier.”

“Is she right? Should I be worried that he doesn’t know how old he is?”

“Is it really so cold out that I’m endangering my child by not putting a coat on her?”

Sure, we make mistakes, because we are human, and being a parent is a very human thing to do. But maybe we know that our child having a pacifier at his age is completely OK. And maybe we know that our son doesn’t know how old he is, but he is developmentally on track. And perhaps our daughter doesn’t have a coat on because it simply wasn’t worth the tantrum.

In general, most people’s opinions on our parenting shouldn’t matter. Though it can still hurt to hear you tell me that I’m not doing a good job, I can remind myself that if you fit any or all of the following descriptions, what you think of what I’m doing should not hold much water:

1. You’re not my husband.
2. You’re not my mom.
3. You’re not my doctor.
4. You’re not my kids’ doctor.
5. You’re not even a doctor at all.
6. Your advice was unsolicited.
7. You don’t know my kids.
8. You don’t know me.
9. Your situation is totally different from mine.
10. Your “solution” has been tried and failed miserably.
11. Your “solution” sounds boring.
12. Your “solution” sounds like it takes work, and I don’t want to do it.
13. You’re a lot braver on your keyboard than I bet you are in person.
14. You haven’t actually listened to what I had to say and instead caught a keyword and launched into a rant.
15. You have terrible grammar, and I can’t understand what you wrote or said.
16. You have terrible grammar, and even though I can understand what you wrote or said, I can’t stop laughing at you.
17. You started your opinion by calling me a name.
18. You stated your opinion in a condescending tone.

Of course, there are exceptions to these. If my child is in danger, I want to know. Someone I marginally know is aware that my 85 percent of my daughter’s diet comes from pouches. That person warned me right away when a recall for what my daughter calls “the green pouch” was issued. That’s advice that is totally welcome, no matter where it comes from.

I also see a lot of Facebook posts alerting parents that they may have incorrectly buckled their children into a car seat. Yes, it is totally OK to butt in under those circumstances.

However, if you are a stranger in the grocery store who is “shocked” that my son’s hair would be so long, or an Internet commenter who thinks I’m “attention-seeking” for breastfeeding my daughter in public, I really don’t care what you think. Save your energy – lord knows we parents can use every ounce of energy we can get.

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7 Comments on 18 reasons your opinion of my parenting doesn’t matter

  1. You're A Bad Mother
    June 2, 2016 at 11:35 pm (1 year ago)

    You sound like a real bitch and a lazy mother. I bet your kids will grow up to be spoiled, self-centered brats with very little manners. If they don’t know their ages they must be dumb as shit. Are you sure they can count from 1-10?

    Reply
    • Maryanne
      July 5, 2016 at 9:02 pm (1 year ago)

      You’re exactly the kind of person this article is aimed at. Get off your high horse.

      Reply
      • Toni Dennington
        August 3, 2016 at 8:55 pm (1 year ago)

        Hi guys
        I couldn’t work out where to make a new comment.
        I love this list and I also love the replies and the replies to the replies :D
        “Are you the mother or friend?” Hmm, let me think
        oh that’s right. I’m the one who just wants to get to the supermarket, so if you want to wear a crash helmet and a tutu, I’m down. get in the car

        Reply
  2. You're A Bad Mother
    June 2, 2016 at 11:38 pm (1 year ago)

    You don’t want to put a coat on your child because you want to avoid a tantrum? What an idiot. Are you the mother or friend? Its cold, so put a fucking coat on the little brat. Stupid people like you should not breed at all since you can’t even manage basic tasks involved in child rearing. You’re too tired? It’s too much work? Tough. Shouldn’t have had kids in the first place.

    Reply
    • Do you have a stick up your ass?
      August 31, 2016 at 2:53 am (12 months ago)

      You sound like you do. You may want to see a doctor about that. It must be difficult to walk around with such a hyper-anal mentality.

      Reply
  3. Johnd805
    September 2, 2016 at 4:19 pm (12 months ago)

    My own wife and I fell over here by a poles apart trap forward also contemplated I’d personally restraint points unconscious. I like exactly what I envision i really am located absolutely charting you. Look forward to bafeeacbdbdd

    Reply
  4. Andrea
    October 15, 2016 at 6:40 pm (10 months ago)

    I understand you’re trying so hard to justify your plain old LAZY parenting, but it isn’t cute. Put a jacket on your kid when it’s cold you absolute clown of a mother. If your child throws a temper tantrum because of a jacket, you’re doing something WRONG. Children aren’t supposed to have options for every single little thing. Your kids are gonna grow up to be the worst kind of person… tell the little booger filled brat to put a jacket on or they get time out and their iPad that they live on goes in the trash. My god! Get it together and stop reproducing. I’ve had the unfortunate experience in reading TWO of your blog posts, both of which were you literally justifying why you can’t be a good parent. Stop reproducing if you can’t muster up the energy lady.

    Reply

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