Archive of ‘laugh about it’ category

The miracle of dinner


It’s Friday night, which means it’s homemade pizza night, which means it’s time to play god. My husband and son want pepperoni, I want tons of vegetables and my daughter will probably fill up on shredded cheese before the pizza is even made. I – meaning, my bread machine – get the dough started. I […] Read more…

Anatomy of a Child’s Birthday Party

disaster cake_400x293

The Invite Oh, god damnit. We barely even know this kid. How the hell did we get invited to this? OK, so our kids go to school together, that doesn’t mean I need to drag my ass to Chuck E. Cheese during naptime. Can’t avoid it, because my son is already foaming at the mouth […] Read more…

My summertime confessions


It’s almost summer, a time when the air is stickier than my children’s hands. Outdoor activities become fashionable, and the sanctimommies are out in full force. If you don’t know what a sanctimommy is, I want to first applaud you for avoiding the dark side of the Internet for the past year. Secondly, I’m not […] Read more…

I’m drunk on parenting.


I don’t drink alcohol much anymore. Perhaps the biggest driving factor behind that is because there is no hell quite like having to be a parent while hungover. The kids WILL wake up early, they WILL jump on your pounding head and they will certainly NOT allow you to lie on the couch all day and eat […] Read more…

I bring out the worst in my children.


I bring out the worst in my children. Fellow mommies, holler if you hear me. How many times has your partner, or parents, or trusted caregiver made comments such as the following: “Oh, geez, your child NEVER acts that way with me!” “I swear your kids were happy until you showed up.” “Your son/daughter is […] Read more…

Grocery shopping is too damn hard.


I cannot go to the grocery store without having an internal battle in nearly every section. I walk in with my list, approach the items I need, and the mental struggle ensues. Take tomato sauce. Let’s go into the aisle where the tomato sauce is. I stand, staring at the rows and rows of jars […] Read more…

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