It may sound odd that I think of my kindergartner as an adult, but I’m told I’m not the only one who pictured his college graduation when we were snapping the obligatory “first day of school” pictures. There are so many grown-up things he does now. He checks books out of a library and has […] Read more…
I’m not going to clean up before play dates anymore. It’s just asinine. And it’s basically lying anyone who visits. Cleaning my home gives the impression that I have a clean house, and I don’t. I never do. The only time my house is ever clean is about five minutes before we have company. I whip […] Read more…
Dear future Grandma-self, Well, you did it. You somehow reached grandma-age despite annihilating your body for the better part of your twenties. For that, you deserve to have a bottle of glass of wine. Already have one in hand? Ha, figures. I’m writing to you for the simple purpose of reminding you to not suck […] Read more…
By this point, you should be aware that you will s*%t yourself delivering the baby and that your social life will be totally disrupted. People will tell you about the pain of childbirth, the spitting up, the crying and the tantrums. No one talks about the other stuff. The important stuff. Like these: 1. You […] Read more…
“Mom, let’s talk about guns,” my 4-year-old says from the back seat. It takes everything in me not to lose control of the car. “Um, OK buddy, let’s talk about guns,” I reply, my voice dripping with anxiety. “I don’t like guns. Do you like guns, Mom?” Phew. “No, buddy. No, I don’t like guns.” […] Read more…
As a parent of young children, I know how excited you are for this holiday season. Nothing quite compares to experiencing snow, Santa and sleigh bells though a child’s eyes. Unfortunately for you, I write about the reality of parenting and am about to crush your expectations. Expectation: We will listen to Christmas music while […] Read more…
I just knew she was going to come up and say something to me. Most people were. I suppose an about-to-pop pregnant lady at a destination wedding sort of sticks out. “Hi there,” she said. “I just wanted to tell you that you look great, and don’t worry – being a parent isn’t as hard […] Read more…
Monster and I walked into the 70-degrees-and-sunny weather. He had spent all morning at work with David, and I had filled the time working. My son – whom we were told needed “even more food in his lunchbox” – looked at me and said, “I have that? I have apple, please?” I hadn’t eaten in […] Read more…
For a really long time, it was all about Momma. “Mommy, carry.” “I want my Mommy.” “Mommy, fix it.” And while it was exhausting and at times emotionally draining, I secretly loved it. I loved that my son knew that if he needed anything, he could come to me. When he was upset, he needed […] Read more…
Five years ago, I called one of my best friends and invited her to go to the beach for the weekend to do the things twenty-somethings do at the beach. Five weeks ago, I called Mandy and again invited her to hit the coast … only this time, I’d have my child, my sister and […] Read more…