Archive of ‘awkward’ category

No take-backs?

I turned in my two weeks’ notice. Now what? No, really – now what do I do? After announcing I was leaving my job to be a stay-at-home momma, I received a lot of congratulations. I also received a lot of almost-ominous messages like, “Good luck! This is the hardest job in the world and […] Read more…

Super classy

While I wouldn’t necessarily call myself uncouth, I would say I am slightly less than classy. I don’t own nice things, I’m incredibly loud and I think it’s normal to skip a shower every now and again. David is constantly reminding me what is and isn’t acceptable behavior because we don’t want our son to […] Read more…

With stupid.

I recently wrote about the worst day of Monster’s life – the day Harris Teeter ran out of cheese samples and the baby proceeded to unleash a Christian-Bale-style tirade on the deli. Typically, that’s how things go: I endure five minutes of chaos and translate them into a succinct blog post that I find hysterical […] Read more…

Creepy.

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So, kids are creepy. I don’t mean in an “old-uncle-want-some-candy” kind of way. No, kids are creepy because they stare, say weird things and stare some more. Take a few nights ago. Monster has been having some difficulty sleeping on his own and I gladly welcomed him into our bed. As he was drifting to […] Read more…

Coloring

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I had forgotten how much I hate art until Monster took an interest in it. In the corners of my brain are nightmarish memories of elementary school art projects that evoked much teasing. There was one project in which we had to make an Advent wreath by drawing and cutting our own leaves on construction […] Read more…

My social awkwardness

My social life now consists of one-sided conversations with Buzz, Woody, Woof Woof and Grrrr, aka Monster’s favorite toys. To their credit, they are really fun and shockingly supportive. But it just so happened that Saturday night, I had the opportunity to leave a backyard party with the stuffed toys (quite the rager, though – Woody […] Read more…

A touch of grace

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I will stop at nothing to make my child laugh. In fact, my life is an ever-evolving exploration into just how much I can embarrass myself in public to produce a toothy, drooling grin. I have gotten “the look” from the snobby staff at J. Crew and under-enthused parents at the playground (whom you’d think […] Read more…

Hope is just a squeeze away

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My life as of late is a daily experiment in how much projectile body fluid a person can emit/clean up. All three of us caught a bug. Actually, it’s like an eight-legged, hundred-eyed furry arachnid that has sunk its teeth into our family for the last week, leaving us weak, pale and a little scared. […] Read more…

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